Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.
Milton Berle

"My wife is a sex object. Everytime I ask for sex, she objects."
Les Dawson

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to?
Bette Midler

"I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic."
Woody Allen.

"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less."
Brendan Francis.

"Sex is the invention of a very clever venereal disease."
David Cronenberg

"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's a pretty good one."
Woody Allen.

"I am always looking for meaningful one night stands."
Dudley Moore

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Emo Philips.

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"There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed."
George Burns